BEST AND WORST OF 1998 MOVIES
The year of 1998 sucked for movies. The movies that were popular either really sucked or were overrated. I personally saw less than 15 movies this year out of the hundreds that were released. If the movies that I missed that I should have seen had better previews, maybe I would have checked them out. Here is my list of the 5 best movies of 1998, the 5 worst movies, and some other tidbits as well.
BEST MOVIES OF 1998
Analysis: I picked these movies because I actually saw all of them. Armageddon was goofy, but it had the best line of the year when the one guy gave his reason for naming the asteroid after his wife because it’s a life sucking thing that destroys. Lethal Weapon 4 was better than 3, and Jet Li was very cool in it. An action movie that entertained and did what it was supposed to do. Also the tradition of destroying Danny Glover’s home in every movie continues. Saving Private Ryan is very overrated, but since I did not see a lot that was better, I will put it at #3, but refuse to say it was the best of the year. The notorious first 25 minutes of the film showing D-Day was interesting and probably looked similar to what really happened, but to say it was some of the greatest stuff ever filmed puts the deaths of those young men in a bad light. The reenactment of real death and tragedy should not be honored for its entertainment value. Only fictionalized violence should be looked at fondly. Saving Private Ryan is not a great film mostly because its main plot is hokey. A more straightforward showing of this time in WWII would have played better for me. Also the last battle was very movie like and not realistic such as Hanks shooting the handgun at the tank. I give it a 3 for effort though. Enemy of the State was very entertaining and its paranoid stuff was fun. This is Will Smith’s best movie ever without all the goofy aliens and kissing guys crap he’s done in the past. Gene Hackman paying homage to his Conversation character of the seventies was cool. I love those movies where the bad guys have these computers that can do anything. 3D image reproduction of a 2D image was amazing. The best movie of the year of the ones I saw was Very Bad Things. This is one of the most hated movies of the year by critics, but I thought it was crazy and different enough to make me laugh and cringe at the same time. It was much better than that Mary thing earlier this year. Also everyone in the movie that did bad things were appropriately punished. The bad guys lose which is always cool to me. I like it when the villains get their comeuppance. Cameron Diaz still sucks, but she was good in this movie. That’s my best of list, now on to the worst.
WORST FILMS OF 1998
Analysis: This too is a list of the worst movies that I actually saw. Each one had its moments, but for many the expectations did not match the execution. There’s Something About Mary is everybody’s favorite comedy of the year. Oh my balls, oh my sperm, oh her hair, oh that dog, oh her saggy wrinkly tits, oh its Bret Favvaaarraaa. Please, I will not fall to the masses. However, Diaz’s brother was funny Keith David is always good in whatever he does. But Diaz still sucks with her smilex grin, Ben Stiller still needs Andy Dick to play off of, see the MTV Music Video Awards, and the Farrelly brothers should shoot Matt Stone and Trey Parker before they ruin their Dumb and Dumber movie with their proposed sequel. Lost in Space was just awful. Dr. Smith was a non factor who did nothing cool. William Hurt was lost throughout the film. And the Robot sucked. Only good thing in the movie was that Friends dude playing Major West. That’s just sad. The DVD of the movie has a bunch of TV LIS in it, but the movie is so bad, I just cannot bring myself to get it. Star Trek has had its day. It was a good run, but it is time to decommission the Enterprise. Let the novels continue the stories. Halloween H2O would have been a lot better if it had made any since and they did not try to disavow the other movies so much. Since it was so disrespectful to the history of the movies, I am putting it on my worst list. However, I will be there first day for Halloween: C2O. Saying Godzilla was the worst movie of 1998 is like saying Godzilla has a big ass. Overstating the obvious, but I had to pick something. Matthew Broderick just sucks, and he has made only 2 movies that are watchable. You decide which ones they are. Also my "favorite" movie makers Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin made the film, so that automatically puts it at the top of the worst list. Lot of Stargate marks, but it sucked after the first 30 minutes, and you all know that ID4 is good…. for me to poop on. The DVD for the movie looks good, to bad the movie is not.
1998 MOVIE TIDBITS
The highest grossing movie released in 1998 was Armageddon with 201.5 million. It is not the highest grossing movie of the year though. Titanic made $488.5 million in 1998 of its $600 million domestic take. Titanic still sucks. There’s Something About movie was the first movie to go to #1 at the box office 7 weeks after its release. If the worst of list had a 6th place, X-Files the Movie would be there. The biggest bombs of the year were Meet Joe Black, Babe 2, Avengers, and Godzilla. Also, Trey Parker and Matt Stone of South Park need to stick with what they know, that’s cursing 3rd graders and not sports or porno movies. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace had a great preview but the title still sucks. SWE1:TPM will open to about $90-110 million in May but will not make more money than Titanic and will fizzle out around $280-310 million. Ewan McGregor is box office poison, just ask Cameron Diaz. George Lucas may be the one with his face in a toilet. That’s all I have for now. See you next year with more Box Office Reports.
ABOUT JOHN L.'S KICKIN' BOX OFFICE REPORTS
THIS WEEK'S BOX OFFICE REPORT LAST WEEK'S BOX OFFICE REPORT
SPECIAL SUMMER OF 1999 MOVIE REVIEW
SPECIAL MIDSUMMER 1999 BOX OFFICE REVIEW
THE BEST AND WORST MOVIES OF 1998
EMAIL: