I wish these evil companies would stop poisoning our water supply.  These movies are getting tiresome.  Erin Brockovitch is another contaminated water story similar to John Travolta's Civil Action.  Civil Action was a box office dud because there was a big lack of cleavage.  EB is full of Julia Robert's push up bras and tight shorts so you get $28 million.  This is a movie that became successful just because of who is the lead.  If any other lower level or unknown actress had starred in Erin B, the movie would have been considered an art house limited run engagement.  Law movies that don't involve the mob or an execution style  hit fail to interest the mass crowd.  Just ask Kenneth Branagh and his Gingerbread Man movie.  The story of the real Erin Brockovitch is okay, but I think a TV movie of the week would have sufficed.  I guess it's funner to make a movie and say the "f" word all the time.  Roberts gets paid around $20 million to make movies, but the average box office of her flicks is still just around $130 million. Not chump change, but with movies costing about $75 million to make, initial North American profit is not a guarantee.  Her biggest hit is still Pretty Woman from 1990 with $178 million while her second biggest hit was the sort of non sequel, Runaway Bride with $152 mil.  Her action movies tend to fail like Nothing But Trouble and Conspiracy Theory while her serious artsy fartsy roles take out Hiroshima with their explosions like Premiere Magazines pick as the biggest movie of the summer of 1991, Dying Young and that classic retelling of Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde, Mary Reilly.  Roberts has not shown versatility in her roles yet which is causing her problems getting that super blockbuster that a Hanks, Cruise, or Jim Carrey has gotten.   There are exceptions to her success like Step Mom and Pelican Brief, but she still needs to fall in love to get her to earn her salary.  Erin B. is her first real overtly sexy part.  Pretty Woman does not count because all of her hottest scenes were done by a stunt body double.  The previews of Brockovitch focus more on her outfits and breasts than the actual plot of the film. If it was not for tv interviews and other movie reviews you would have no idea what the movie is about. "Their called breasts" as Roberts says in the preview.  It is also somewhat disturbing to watch her run around like that, but you have to realize that the real person dressed like that because she was sort of trailer parky and it helped her take advantage of horny guys who let her get access to secret files.  Women can be so devious.  That is the a picture of the real Erin Brockovitch at the premiere of the movie wearing the low cut black dress and the big crap eating grin.  Julia does not do Ms. B. justice.  I am not the biggest Julia Roberts fan and I tend to avoid most of her movies.  Of the ones I have seen, the only one I truly enjoyed was Sleeping With The Enemy.  Great ending for that one.  Erin Brockovitch should easily make a $100 million for the studio and Roberts will continue to shill for Hollywood as long as she gets paid.  I respected her when she did Mary Reilly and Michael Collins (sounds kinky, but not) since she was acting for the work, but now she does it more for the money and she freely admits it.  EB tries to mix the art and the spectacle and looking at this weeks box office, I guess it worked.

This month's horror movie offering is Final Destination and like most movies like this (Urban Legend or I Know What You Did Last Summer) it makes the standard $10 million its opening weekend.  I plan to see this movie because the preview and the premise, and the mic work of Tony Todd interests me.  The preview set up the premise of several teenagers who escape dying in an airplane crash apparently cheating death.  And if you saw a recent episode of Fox's The Family Guy, you know that you cannot cheat death.  So instead of a stalking slasher, it seems that the bony hand of fate is trying to take out these kids one by one in spectacular ways like slipping on a wet floor or getting hit by a train while stuck in a stalled and locked car.  Tony (Be My Victim) Todd plays the mortician and he gets to sound all ooga booga when describing how fate has a plan for us all and we can't fight it.  It looks like the cops will have trouble trying to arrest a culprit in this one.  I also expect the traditional stupid fake scares and silly set ups that these movies are good for, but that is what I like to see.  Devon Sawa plays the guy with the death premonition and I am a fan of his work in Idle Hands a very underrated horror film that I highly recommend that slasher fans go rent.  There is a Dawson's Creek actor in the movie as well, but I won't let that deter me from seein the film.  The movie was directed by James Wong who is famous for writing some of the strangest XFiles episodes.  So there should be a good creep factor throughout the film.  I hope to see it this weekend, and if I do, I will post a full review.  Hopefully it will stick around a bit longer.  And hopefully it won't suck.

BEYOND THE MAT - Movie Review

Beyond the mat is Barry W. Blaustein's loveletter to the world of professional wrestling.  It is a documentary that is very funny, interesting, dark, disturbing, sad, unbelievable, fascinating, tragic, embarrassing, pointless, boring, amazing, frightening, cute, and worth seeing even if you have never watched a professional wrestling match.  I am one of the world's biggest professioanl wrestling fans.  I started watching pro wrestling on a regular basis back in 1978.  I started to pay attention to it around 1984 when Hulk Hogan and the WWF were becoming the hottest things on Saturday mornings and nights.  I love the athletic display of the wrestlers and the crazy angles or storylines that they go through to make you care that these guys are beating the hell out of each other to get a "pop" or cheer from the crowd.  I am what one calls a mark when it comes to wrestling.  I sit and watch it about 4 days a week especially on Mondays with WWF RAW and WCW Nitro.  I scream and yell in front of my tv like the guys on the screen can hear me.  I have seen the shows live several times and really enjoy watching it.  For the first 19 years of my viewing wrestling, I never really knew what went on behind the scenes.  I took everything as I saw it.  If Bret Hart is fighting his brother, he must not like him in real life.  If Hogan is splashed by a 400 pound wrestler and has to get his ribs taped, he must really be hurt.  Did I believe that wrestling was real as they say? Well, yes and no.  In the beginning, I took it as real and did not understand about the bookers or the promoters who decide who wins and who loses.  I just looked at as real as I watched it.  Then one Friday night, John Stossel did his famous 20/20 expose on pro wrestling and said that is is "fake."  Of course he made that announcement in front of 300 pound, 6 foot 7, mean as hell Dr. David Schultz who promptly slapped JS across his ears and asked him if that was fake.  Stossel of course received severe ear damage that he may still suffer from today.  Knowing this, did not deter my interest in the sport, or sports entertainment as they like to call it.  In 1997, I went on the internet full throttle and came across wrestling web sites that exposed the backstage life of the wrestlers so now I know when things are worked or when a wrestler is really hurt or if it's an angle. This just increased my interest in the show more than when I was a young mark in junior high and high school.  Blaustein is a wrestling mark and this documentary proves it.  This movie goes beyond what goes on in the ring, that is coreographed but most of the moves and hits you see are done for real with real impact.  If a guy falls off a 20 foot steel cage through a Spanish announce team table, that is real, no wires or blue screen.  If a guy gets hit in the head with a chair 13 times in a row, that is real.  There are no nerf chairs in wrestling. If a wrestler does a flip off a 10 foot ladder onto a guy laying on the mat, the impact is felt and it does hurt.  If you do a lot of crack and drink a lot of alcohol, you will not be able to perform in the ring and you will end up a has been living in cheap hotels and trying to reconcile with your emotionally disturbed daughter.  All of this is shown in Beyond the Mat to show you that these guys that are cheered, booed, or ridiculed are real people with families and personal demons that we all share a part of.  The movie focuses on 3 wrestlers.  Terry Funk, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, and Mick "Mankind" Foley.  There are a few subplots of young guys trying to make it in the big leagues, a wrestler trying out for an acting role, and a wrestler who had recently signed with the WWF, Darren Drosdov, and how Vince McMahon comes up with his on screen wrestling gimmick of puking on command.  The sad thing about this is that soon after Beyond the Mat debuted in October of 1999, Drosdov was seriously injured on a tv taping of WWF Smackdown in a match that left him paralyzed from the waist down.  That is mentioned at the very end of the movie as a tack on as it occurred long after the movie was actually finished.  Terry Funk is a guy who is a living legend in the business who refuses to quit.  He talks about retiring in the movie, but as of this writing, he was still actively wrestling for WCW.  Jake Roberts is a sad case. I was a big fan of Jake the Snake in the 80s and early 90s.  He was never the greatest wrestler, but his snake gimmick and his DDT finisher was fantastic.  He had a great presence in the ring and was excellent at psyching out his opponents.  Unfortunately, he came on hard times as his career was winding down and he has still not recovered from his problems.  The movie takes a lot of screen time discussing Jake's life and it can be quite disturbing to watch.  I was very interested in the footage because I am such a fan, but it was quite depressing for me.  Mick Foley is the star of the movie though. His wife and 2 kids are his life and he loves them dearly.  This is shown quite lovingly.  BTM also shows that Foley is a crazy mo fo who has gone too far on several occasions to get that pop from the crowd.  Exploding bomb matches in Japan, hell in the cell matches, I quit matches, chair shots, chokeslams, and the sight of his wife and daughter cowering in fear as they see Mick getting his brains bashed in by The Rock in a match from the WWF Royal Rumble show.  They show his head getting stitched up and you can almost see right into his head through his skull to his brain the cut is so deep.  Foley is a modern legend in the sport at the age of 35.  He is winding down his career now only to wrestle sporadically to spark a buy rate for a pay per view or get an extra boost in the ratings.  Beyond the Mat does a great job in showing how Foley is a nut, but he is still a great guy and a loving father, and a guy who knows he has a hot wife who he does not mind saying he likes to feel up every now and then.  The other part of the movie that is good is all of the behind the scenes footage during a wrestling show.  You see guys going over their promo lines, directions for selling a worked injury, or ECW promoter, Paul Heyman giving a pep talk to the talent as they are about to do their first ppv.  All fascinating stuff that could be the entire focus of a BTM sequel.  Now, I like this, but I do like to keep the mystery of the business in tack, or as they say keep the kayfabe (whatever that means).  Foley and The Rock were feuding quite heavily at the time of this films production, but you see them smiling and laughing and talking about Disney World and then the next scene they are trying to kill each other.  That is so weird to watch.  I always knew that when wrestlers would fight all the way to the back and the cameras turned off they sit in the back and drink beers together.  BTM is a good movie and it has all of the dopey documentary type interviews that Saturday Night Live sketches goof on all the time.  Blaustein is a little dull in his narration, but his subject is quite interesting to say the least. Check this movie out and watch one of the wrestling shows, (WWF or ECW preferably, WCW if you are desperate) if you haven't.  These guys work harder than almost any people in the world and they do it 4 to 5 days a week all year with limited breaks.  Respect them all. They deserve it.  Final Review:  3 stars out of 4; 7 1/2 out of 10; B+; thumbs up.  

VIDEO NOSE PICK OF THE WEAK 

Whatever you do, do not rent the movie Crash with James Spader and Holly Hunter.  It is about people who are infatuated by car crashes to the point of sexual ecstasy.  It is just pointless. Some decent nudity, but hard to sit through.  Watch at your own risk.

REST OF THE TOP 10 IN 10:

1.    Mission to Mars fails to attract an audience its second week.

2.    Brian DePalma needs to remake a Hitchcock film or something to get back on track to making movies people want to see.

3.    People may be skipping Mission to Mars, but they are still checking out My Dog Skip.

4.    It looks like the boy and his dog movie has finally made a comeback as long as your budget is less than $10 million.

5.    Ninth Gate looks boring as Hell.

6.    The number 6 is once again Bruce Willis' number with the placement of The Whole Nine Yards in this week's top 10.

7.    Annette Beatty has her first $100 million hit foiling my wishes once more.

8.    Maybe Cider House Rules will get the best picture Oscar this year playing the Shakespeare to American Beauty's Ryan.

9.    The Ground Hog saw its shadow and says that Snow Day is having a good long run of at least 6 weeks in the top 10.

10.    The Tigger movie became the third children's movie to appear in the top 10 this week.

That is all I have to say this week about the box office.  I hope to see Romeo Must Die and Final Destination this week.  I don't expect Romeo to do that well, but it should out gross Jet Li's last movie U.S. release, Black Mask.  Also, next week's box office report will be out on Tuesday or Wednesday because I will also give my take on this years Oscar winners an losers.  Should be an interesting show with Robin Williams singing the Blame Canada song from the South Park movie.  Bye for now.

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